Drought.

What a nice evening in holloway. Thankyou lovely C!!!!

The ridiculous comment award goes to me tonight....

On boys (the lack of)...

Ch: Do you have a boyfreind?
Me: HA!
Ch: What?
Me: I think there's a man drought
Ch: Maybe I should become a nun.
C: I would advise against it.
Me: Well I practically am a nun already.
C: Jesus is the only man you need in your life.

brief silence....then...

Me: Jesus is actually really hot.

Que hysterical laughter.

Flounder Fishing, Redneck style.

The father figure has just returned from yet another trip to Orange Beach, Alabama. I know from experience that this means stories, lots of stories. Everyone has heard about the Thanksgiving deep fat turkey frying in the yard miscalculation resulting in accidental blowing up of your trailer story. This time Mum and Dad went flounder fishing with a local couple. Here is how it works.....

What you need:

• two men (they do the fishing)
• river water (watered and rum)
• two wives (they carry the river water for the men)
• a bicycle inner tube, inflated
• bucket
• car battery
• a light
• flex
• broomstick
• second broomstick with a sharp trident like end
• string, with a needle on one end and a large knot in the other

The car battery sits inside the bucket. The inflated inner tube goes around the bucket, like a life belt. The cable attaches to the car battery at one end. the other end runs along the broom handle to power a light at it's tip.

So far, so good.

Now, you need to wait till after dark, before heading out onto the beach with your equipment (including your wives).

The bicycle inner tube allows the battery-containing bucket to float on the water, so that the battery stays nice and dry. Crafty. The two men wade out into the water, one with the broomstick trident, the other with the bucket/battery/broomstick/torch assembly. The wives stay on the shore (their sole purpose is to carry the "riverwater").

Flounder are flat fish, which lie in the sand at the floor of the ocean. Man number one uses the broomstick torch to scour the floor of the ocean for the unsuspecting flounder. Man number two then spears the illuminated flounder with his trident. Success.

Problem is, you are fishing in the dark at shark feeding time. Easy. Thats where the piece of string (with the knot in one end and a needle in the other) comes in. The sharp end goes through the poor little flounder and the fish is pushed along to the knotted end. You then drag it behind you in the water as you continue to fish, keeping sharky a safe distance away, supposedly.

Dad finished the story with...

"They have a son. He has a truck. And he hunts alligators. You should get in contact with him."

um...yes Dad.